So today i tried feeding Kenzie some thicker rice cereal with a spoon for the 2nd time, and we have success!!!! I'm so proud of my little munchkin! She ate quite a bit and was really getting the hang of moving her tongue around to swallow food and opening her mouth for the spoon. It was fun to feed her and i actually can't wait to do it again tomorrow! YAY i'm so excited! once she gets really good with the cereal we can move on to real foods! eek!
So anyways....on to other things....
Work is getting really busy and hectic. They are not hiring any new people when employees quit, just splitting up their work between others....which means i have 3 extra offices so far to process checks for....plus the processing has become harder and harder making my job more tedious and time consuming. I used to have free time to relax and take my time...not so much anymore. Oh well. At least i have a job.
As for how i'm doing....I don't know how i'm doing. I'm struggling a lot with my walk with God because i think I'm angry with him. I hate to admit that because i know that i shouldn't be, and i'm really trying to get past it, but i just don't know how. I am getting so tired of never being home, and never seeing Joel during the week, never seeing Kenzie, hating my job so much...During the week i am pretty miserable in general and then on the weekend everything is great because i get to be home with my family. I feel like God wants me to learn from this and fix how i feel about him, but i also feel like i have no time to work on it. I get home from work and see Kenzie, cook dinner, eat dinner, play with Kenzie for a few and work on the newest developmental milestone, and then get her ready for bed. After that i feel like i HAVE to have some time to just relax and do nothing. It's during this time that i need to focus on God and my walk with him, but i just feel so overwhelmed. I want to just sit back, watch tv, get ready for the next day and relax! I don't know what to do and Joel is trying to help me but with us being apart all week it's hard to really work on anything together. I need to be thankful for everything that we have been blessed with in life, but because i am so miserable with so many life situations, i am finding that difficult. I pray every day that God will give me a new job and give me more time at home, but i don't think he will give that to me until i learn to ask the right way and stop wanting things to be my way or nothing else.
Ugh. So that's how i'm feeling right now and what i'm struggling with. I need to force myself to read the Bible daily and pray more often. I need to learn to give everything to God and he will provide and do what is best for us. I need to not be mad at God for our situation. I need to work on my relationship with Joel and find out why i get so defensive with him when he tries to help me. When he tries to talkto me i just get so defensive! ugg.
I guess i need to focus more on creating time for God.
Well i'm off to bed and some overdue reading....
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
We have successl!!
Posted by Becca at 8:33 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Call me if you want to talk, sweetie.
It is normal to feel this way and most Christians do at different times in life. It's OK to be mad at God. Things will work out for you, yes on his time and His way, but He will never leave you, nor forsake you. It's hard when hubby is spiritually right with God; it becomes that much more frustrating b/c your not. I have been there. It can be aggravating. Even when Sean and I fight and he says to stop and pray, I get irritated and only half heartedly do it. We always need to improve with our relationship with God. Praying more, giving your cares and worries to Him and DEFINITELY doing Bible study will help. He really wants us to study and know His word. I know you know all this. Are you close with your Pastor or his wife? Good people to talk to.....or other church members. Sean and I will be praying for you. Maybe He wants you to take your focus off yourself and your hubby and daughter and put it on Him because ultimately He is the one you should be thinking of, the one you love the most over anyone or anything else and the one who is your Father. I also know it's hard to do that, to say I love God over my hubby or baby, but that is what he wants. When you are in a valley, that is where He teaches you the most, so don't be so quick to get out of the valley. Spend some time turning over the rocks. He will never put you through something you can't handle, you will always be a better person on the other side. Maybe He is testing you. Be joyful in any situation. Focusing on TV and relaxing and not spending time with Him probably hurts Him badly. I'm here for you and far from perfect and struggle with my relationship with Him daily. Love you!
Awww- I love reading your thoughts and knowing I'm not the only person that feels a certain way.
Don't worry- stay positive. God understands everything and he'll even let you be mad at him. But never forget who is always there- he is. And when you have a bad day- he'll be there. When something goes wrong, he'll be there. Just remain faithful, pray, read the bible, and talk to him. Gian and I have been working on this- on getting closer to God and not wanting things "OUR WAY" but asking for things "HIS WAY".
We really think one of the major reasons the first townhouse didn't work out for us was because we wanted things our way, at a certain date, at a certain time, in a certain fashion. And to teach us a lesson God let us think we were having it all our way and in the end he surprised us. Guess what- it's not all about us. So now we're taking a different approach and asking him to do things his way even if its frustrating and even if we don't understand.
So keep your chin up and know i'm only a phone call away or just teleport yourself to me via ipod. :) love you pear!!!!!
Post a Comment