Monday version of the Sunday update...

So yesterday's post was kind of done in a hurry because we were moving furniture in and redecorating everything and yeah...a mad house. But i didn't post about the most interesting part of my day. Joel and I were getting ready to head out to church around 9:45 on Sunday morning and i get a phone call. Weird for someone to be calling on Sunday this early but ok...i answer. It's my grandma. I haven't seen her in 4 years (since we got married) and we only really talk for a few minutes on special holidays. Things have been this way since the whole divorce. So apparently her and my grandpa are heading up to Michigan and have taken a longer route so that they can pass through Indiana and see us. So we set up to meet at Cracker Barrel off the interstate and have breakfast. She didn't really say that it was just the 2 of them, but since she didn't say that my dad was there i assumed that he wasn't. So Joel and I were both really nervous that it may be a ploy to get me to see/speak to my father. THANK GOD it wasn't. We got there and it was just my MiMi and PawPaw (that's what we call 'em). It was so so wonderful to see them. I guess I didn't realize how much it meant to me to keep contact with that side of the extended family. See they are the only grandparent's that i have ever really known since my mother's side is crazy...well...white trash. So to loose them in the divorce was nearly as bad as losing my father. So i was just overjoyed to see them again. We sat around and talked and ate breakfast together for all in all about 2 hours or so. I can't believe how much all of my cousins have grown up, it doesn't seem like they could have grown that much in 4 years, but my my they have. So it was a very good experience to see the family all in all. I know that i need to come to terms with a lot of things that happened in the divorce, and decide once and for all how i feel about my family on that side. I want to have my grandparent's in my life but i can't really have just them...if i accept one part, i have to accept it all. Everyone lives within probably 10 miles of each other in GA so it's not like i could just visit one of them. So...it's difficult. Joel and i both have to discuss everything because he hates my father, i think more than i do. His father left his family when he was young and after a long custody battle and messy divorce situation, he lost the relationship with his father as well. Joel means well, he really does, but i feel like he tries to protect me from being hurt, too much. It's almost like i'm a child and he just wants to make my decisions for me. He has already decided that our future children won't know my father at all, but i haven't really decided that yet. I know that it needs to be a mutual decision, but i don't think that Joel knows that. I realize that my father was a liar and was horrib;e to his own children in the divorce, but does that mean that i, that we should never forgive it? I don't know. Well anyways...the whole visit was wonderful, but it brought up a lot of thoughts that i really need to discuss with Joel. ugh...why does my family have to have so much drama?

Thanks for reading my rant on my family life....i'm certifiably crazy. I just know that at least Hettie understands me. LOL :)